![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wibblyleverFor ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
radiobroadcast, on the occasion of her birthday. My first Star Trek fic. HEY MOM LOOK IT ONLY TOOK ME 33 YEARS.
Title: One Time When Kirk Thought Pon Farr Was a Cliché (Star Trek XI)
Author:moony
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Kirk/Spock-ish, with special guest cameo, Scotty. Pre-slash?
Summary: “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Spock,” said Kirk quickly. “I mean, it’s a biological urge, right? Involuntary? You can’t help it. You’re like a- Like a salmon that has to swim back to the pond where it was born so it can lay eggs. Except you’re not a fish, and I’m pretty sure Vulcans don’t lay eggs. But you know what I mean, right?”
Disclaimer: I don't own shit.
AN: This is an extremely silly little one-shot. I askedradiobroadcast for her favorite ST fanfiction clichés, and this was one of them. Completely ridiculous.
Kirk had first heard of pon farr from an old textbook at the Academy. He’d found it in the library, in the climate-controlled room where they kept the ancient texts, the ones printed on paper and bound in the hide of some unfortunate animal. The text had been in High Vulcan, which was tricky but not impossible for Kirk to translate (Uhura wasn’t the only cunning linguist in the Academy, thank you). He’d read it out of curiosity, and because he was bored and he’d read everything else, and then promptly forgot about it because when the hell was he ever going to meet a Vulcan?
Three years later, after he’d forgotten the book in favor of something much more interesting (Bones’s snickerdoodle recipe, all the words to ‘Dancing Queen,’ Hodgkin’s Law of Parallel Planetary Development, Federation regulations, the memory of Uhura in her underwear, the Lorentz invariance in loop quantum gravity), Kirk met his first Vulcan and decided he was an asshole. Two months later that Vulcan became his first officer aboard the freshly-repaired Enterprise. Six months after that, they were friends. And exactly one year after their first encounter, when the Enterprise was three weeks from the nearest starbase and at least a month out from the Vulcan colony planet, Vokau, Kirk remembered reading that book and was immediately concerned that he and his crew were now trapped in outer space with a ticking time bomb named Spock.
Kirk was a tactical genius. He knew how to handle delicate situations, such as negotiations with cranky Klingons and stand-offs with genocidal Romulans, and his tendency to not only think outside the box but set the box on fire and beam it to a distant moon was often the factor that tipped those situations in their favor (most of the time). However as much as he preferred the loud, noisy way out, Kirk also understood that there were times when subtlety was a wiser modus operandi. So instead of sounding the alarm (or telling Bones, which amounted to the same thing), he decided to start watching Spock a little more closely than usual.
It was easy enough to keep an eye on him when they were on the bridge, but Kirk was not prepared for what stalking (monitoring, he was monitoring) Spock after-hours would entail. The man hardly slept, and even though Kirk had stayed awake often enough in xenobiology to know that Vulcans don’t require the same amount of sleep as, say, a human does, it was still mind-boggling that Spock stayed vertical for as long as he did. For the next several hours, Kirk followed him all over the goddamn ship, regretting his decision to not just sound a red alert and chuck Spock out onto the nearest planet (though, unlike some people, he'd at least check and make sure there were no giant red vagina-faced lobster monsters down there, first).
He first found Spock working with the staff in the botanical garden, who were cultivating several Vulcan plants in an effort to preserve their medicinal qualities. After that, Spock went to catalog instrument readings in the high-energy physics lab. A mind-numbing hour later Kirk caught him meditating in the observation lounge, a figure of tranquility surrounded by chaotic space beyond the windows, oblivious to the other people around him. Kirk had never seen someone remain so completely still for so long.
After Kirk woke up (because watching a meditating Vulcan was actually pretty soothing) he quickly caught up with Spock in the chemistry laboratory, attending to some geological specimens (also known as rocks, at least to Kirk, who'd had to carry them) they’d picked up on their last planetary pit-stop. From there it was straight to the firing range, where Spock, at the expense of several smoldering targets, reminded Kirk why he always, always took Spock with him on away missions.
Finally, they both wound up in the officer’s dining mess, where Spock ate neatly from a fruit plate while Scotty chatted about haggis or Loch Ness monsters or whatever it is Scottish people talk about, while Kirk pretended to eat while lurking at a table nearby. By that point he didn’t care if they were plotting mutiny and planning to maroon him on a planet full of Nazis, he was exhausted.
“Captain.”
Kirk opened his eyes and lifted his head from where he'd been resting it atop his chicken sandwich. “Spock?”
Spock was standing over him. He reached over and removed the lettuce stuck to Kirk’s ear. “I wish to know why you have been following me for the last seven hours and fourteen minutes.”
“Er,” said Kirk, demonstrating his innate ability to remain articulate in high-pressure situations. “No reason.”
“I do not believe that to be true,” said Spock. He took a seat in the empty chair across from Kirk. “Are you concerned with how I spend my free time away from the bridge?”
Kirk shook his head. “Not at all.” He scooted back, just a little, just enough to give him a few seconds’ head start, if it came down to that. “I was just… curious.”
“Captain,” said Spock, with the tone of voice one might use to address a spectacularly stupid dog. Kirk knew that tone. His mother, Pike and at least six professors had used it on him, often. Bones used it at least once a day (twice on Sundays). It was not a good tone.
“Okay, okay.” Kirk ran a hand through his hair and glanced around nervously, then leaned forward. “I know about your little … problem.”
Spock blinked. “Problem.”
“Yeah,” said Kirk. He dropped his voice to a hoarse whisper. “You know…”
“I do not know.”
Kirk sighed. “Every seven years?” he hedged. When Spock’s eyes widened (too dark to be human, too expressive to be Vulcan) Kirk knew he’d finally caught on. “Yeah, that.”
“You are referring to pon farr,” said Spock, quietly. “I do not know how you have come by this knowledge, Captain-“
“It was in a book,” said Kirk. “I read it back at the Academy.”
“-but I assure you that- You read a book about pon farr in the Academy library?” Spock blinked. “The only books that would contain such information would be written in High Vulcan.”
“Yeah, yeah,” said Kirk. He waved a hand impatiently. “I know.”
“You can read Vulcan?” asked Spock. Kirk wasn’t sure if he felt pleased to have surprised him, or annoyed that he had. “I was not aware that you had ever studied the language.”
“Spunau bolayalar t'Wehku bolayalar t'Zamu il t'Veh,” said Kirk with a smile.
“’The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few,’” Spock recited, as if on auto-pilot.
“’Or the one,’” finished Kirk. “That's Surak, right? Yeah, I've studied a little Vulcan. Anyway, back to the subject at hand, this pon farr business – did I read it right? Are you really going to go insane if you don’t get laid?”
Spock just stared at him.
“Spock? Come in, Spock.” Kirk leaned over and waved a hand in front of his face, and instinctively Spock batted it away. Kirk smiled. “Still with me? Because I really want to know if I have to initiate a shipwide alert for surprise Vulcan buttsex.”
That got Spock’s attention, and Kirk could see the very tips of his ears turn a faint (yet completely adorable, oh wait until he told Bones) green. “Captain.” Spock closed his eyes, and for a moment Kirk thought he might be counting to ten, or visualizing his happy place, or whatever it is Vulcans did to keep from strangling their captains. Again.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Spock,” said Kirk quickly. “I mean, it’s a biological urge, right? Involuntary? You can’t help it. You’re like a- Like a salmon that has to swim back to the pond where it was born so it can lay eggs. Except you’re not a fish, and I’m pretty sure Vulcans don’t lay eggs. But you know what I mean, right?” He waved his hands as he spoke, growing more anxious every minute Spock sat there, eyes closed, not saying anything. Was Spock even breathing?
Oh God, it was starting.
“Look, Spock, you just say the word, and we’ll do whatever we can to accommodate you. I mean, there’s no shortage of fine-looking women – and a few men – on board who wouldn’t want the opportunity to see what’s under those science blues-“
Spock thumped his hand on the table, effectively silencing Kirk, and opened his eyes. His expression was caught somewhere between indulgent and bemused. “I am in no danger of undergoing pon farr in the near future,” he said evenly. “It will not occur for another five-point-three years, at which time I will already have returned to the colony in preparation, so I ask that you please stop talking, immediately. Captain.”
“Wait, really?” asked Kirk. “Five years? Because I assumed, you know – you being half-human, it might throw off your, uh, cycle?” He ignored the ridiculousness of discussing cycles with Spock. “You know, make it unpredictable?”
“No,” said Spock. “From a biological standpoint I am completely Vulcan. It is the dominant gene. Not to mention that it would be extremely illogical for Vulcans to not have developed a method for predicting the onset of pon farr, so as to prevent any complications it might present.”
“Oh.” Kirk sagged in his chair. “Yeah, that makes sense, I guess.” He was relieved, of course, that Spock was in no danger of going caveman on anyone anytime soon, but there was also an underlying sense of… something, that he couldn’t quite put a name to. “So, we don’t have to get you to Vokau, warp factor ten billion?” he asked.
“Negative, Captain” said Spock. “Not only are the warp engines incapable of such a ludicrous speed, there is no need to return me to the Vulcan colony at the present time.” He studied Kirk intently. “You seem disappointed.”
“Do I?” Kirk didn’t know if he was asking Spock, or himself. “Huh. Maybe a little. I mean, I don’t want you to go insane and die, or anything. I just thought it might be… interesting.”
“Do not worry,” said Spock, as he rose from his seat. “When I enter into pon farr, Jim, you will be the first to know.”
He left, and Kirk could only stare after him. He made a mental note to mark his calendar, five-point-three years from now.
- end -
radiobroadcast, on the occasion of her birthday. My first Star Trek fic. HEY MOM LOOK IT ONLY TOOK ME 33 YEARS.Title: One Time When Kirk Thought Pon Farr Was a Cliché (Star Trek XI)
Author:
moonyRating: PG-13
Characters: Kirk/Spock-ish, with special guest cameo, Scotty. Pre-slash?
Summary: “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Spock,” said Kirk quickly. “I mean, it’s a biological urge, right? Involuntary? You can’t help it. You’re like a- Like a salmon that has to swim back to the pond where it was born so it can lay eggs. Except you’re not a fish, and I’m pretty sure Vulcans don’t lay eggs. But you know what I mean, right?”
Disclaimer: I don't own shit.
AN: This is an extremely silly little one-shot. I asked
radiobroadcast for her favorite ST fanfiction clichés, and this was one of them. Completely ridiculous.Kirk had first heard of pon farr from an old textbook at the Academy. He’d found it in the library, in the climate-controlled room where they kept the ancient texts, the ones printed on paper and bound in the hide of some unfortunate animal. The text had been in High Vulcan, which was tricky but not impossible for Kirk to translate (Uhura wasn’t the only cunning linguist in the Academy, thank you). He’d read it out of curiosity, and because he was bored and he’d read everything else, and then promptly forgot about it because when the hell was he ever going to meet a Vulcan?
Three years later, after he’d forgotten the book in favor of something much more interesting (Bones’s snickerdoodle recipe, all the words to ‘Dancing Queen,’ Hodgkin’s Law of Parallel Planetary Development, Federation regulations, the memory of Uhura in her underwear, the Lorentz invariance in loop quantum gravity), Kirk met his first Vulcan and decided he was an asshole. Two months later that Vulcan became his first officer aboard the freshly-repaired Enterprise. Six months after that, they were friends. And exactly one year after their first encounter, when the Enterprise was three weeks from the nearest starbase and at least a month out from the Vulcan colony planet, Vokau, Kirk remembered reading that book and was immediately concerned that he and his crew were now trapped in outer space with a ticking time bomb named Spock.
Kirk was a tactical genius. He knew how to handle delicate situations, such as negotiations with cranky Klingons and stand-offs with genocidal Romulans, and his tendency to not only think outside the box but set the box on fire and beam it to a distant moon was often the factor that tipped those situations in their favor (most of the time). However as much as he preferred the loud, noisy way out, Kirk also understood that there were times when subtlety was a wiser modus operandi. So instead of sounding the alarm (or telling Bones, which amounted to the same thing), he decided to start watching Spock a little more closely than usual.
It was easy enough to keep an eye on him when they were on the bridge, but Kirk was not prepared for what stalking (monitoring, he was monitoring) Spock after-hours would entail. The man hardly slept, and even though Kirk had stayed awake often enough in xenobiology to know that Vulcans don’t require the same amount of sleep as, say, a human does, it was still mind-boggling that Spock stayed vertical for as long as he did. For the next several hours, Kirk followed him all over the goddamn ship, regretting his decision to not just sound a red alert and chuck Spock out onto the nearest planet (though, unlike some people, he'd at least check and make sure there were no giant red vagina-faced lobster monsters down there, first).
He first found Spock working with the staff in the botanical garden, who were cultivating several Vulcan plants in an effort to preserve their medicinal qualities. After that, Spock went to catalog instrument readings in the high-energy physics lab. A mind-numbing hour later Kirk caught him meditating in the observation lounge, a figure of tranquility surrounded by chaotic space beyond the windows, oblivious to the other people around him. Kirk had never seen someone remain so completely still for so long.
After Kirk woke up (because watching a meditating Vulcan was actually pretty soothing) he quickly caught up with Spock in the chemistry laboratory, attending to some geological specimens (also known as rocks, at least to Kirk, who'd had to carry them) they’d picked up on their last planetary pit-stop. From there it was straight to the firing range, where Spock, at the expense of several smoldering targets, reminded Kirk why he always, always took Spock with him on away missions.
Finally, they both wound up in the officer’s dining mess, where Spock ate neatly from a fruit plate while Scotty chatted about haggis or Loch Ness monsters or whatever it is Scottish people talk about, while Kirk pretended to eat while lurking at a table nearby. By that point he didn’t care if they were plotting mutiny and planning to maroon him on a planet full of Nazis, he was exhausted.
“Captain.”
Kirk opened his eyes and lifted his head from where he'd been resting it atop his chicken sandwich. “Spock?”
Spock was standing over him. He reached over and removed the lettuce stuck to Kirk’s ear. “I wish to know why you have been following me for the last seven hours and fourteen minutes.”
“Er,” said Kirk, demonstrating his innate ability to remain articulate in high-pressure situations. “No reason.”
“I do not believe that to be true,” said Spock. He took a seat in the empty chair across from Kirk. “Are you concerned with how I spend my free time away from the bridge?”
Kirk shook his head. “Not at all.” He scooted back, just a little, just enough to give him a few seconds’ head start, if it came down to that. “I was just… curious.”
“Captain,” said Spock, with the tone of voice one might use to address a spectacularly stupid dog. Kirk knew that tone. His mother, Pike and at least six professors had used it on him, often. Bones used it at least once a day (twice on Sundays). It was not a good tone.
“Okay, okay.” Kirk ran a hand through his hair and glanced around nervously, then leaned forward. “I know about your little … problem.”
Spock blinked. “Problem.”
“Yeah,” said Kirk. He dropped his voice to a hoarse whisper. “You know…”
“I do not know.”
Kirk sighed. “Every seven years?” he hedged. When Spock’s eyes widened (too dark to be human, too expressive to be Vulcan) Kirk knew he’d finally caught on. “Yeah, that.”
“You are referring to pon farr,” said Spock, quietly. “I do not know how you have come by this knowledge, Captain-“
“It was in a book,” said Kirk. “I read it back at the Academy.”
“-but I assure you that- You read a book about pon farr in the Academy library?” Spock blinked. “The only books that would contain such information would be written in High Vulcan.”
“Yeah, yeah,” said Kirk. He waved a hand impatiently. “I know.”
“You can read Vulcan?” asked Spock. Kirk wasn’t sure if he felt pleased to have surprised him, or annoyed that he had. “I was not aware that you had ever studied the language.”
“Spunau bolayalar t'Wehku bolayalar t'Zamu il t'Veh,” said Kirk with a smile.
“’The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few,’” Spock recited, as if on auto-pilot.
“’Or the one,’” finished Kirk. “That's Surak, right? Yeah, I've studied a little Vulcan. Anyway, back to the subject at hand, this pon farr business – did I read it right? Are you really going to go insane if you don’t get laid?”
Spock just stared at him.
“Spock? Come in, Spock.” Kirk leaned over and waved a hand in front of his face, and instinctively Spock batted it away. Kirk smiled. “Still with me? Because I really want to know if I have to initiate a shipwide alert for surprise Vulcan buttsex.”
That got Spock’s attention, and Kirk could see the very tips of his ears turn a faint (yet completely adorable, oh wait until he told Bones) green. “Captain.” Spock closed his eyes, and for a moment Kirk thought he might be counting to ten, or visualizing his happy place, or whatever it is Vulcans did to keep from strangling their captains. Again.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Spock,” said Kirk quickly. “I mean, it’s a biological urge, right? Involuntary? You can’t help it. You’re like a- Like a salmon that has to swim back to the pond where it was born so it can lay eggs. Except you’re not a fish, and I’m pretty sure Vulcans don’t lay eggs. But you know what I mean, right?” He waved his hands as he spoke, growing more anxious every minute Spock sat there, eyes closed, not saying anything. Was Spock even breathing?
Oh God, it was starting.
“Look, Spock, you just say the word, and we’ll do whatever we can to accommodate you. I mean, there’s no shortage of fine-looking women – and a few men – on board who wouldn’t want the opportunity to see what’s under those science blues-“
Spock thumped his hand on the table, effectively silencing Kirk, and opened his eyes. His expression was caught somewhere between indulgent and bemused. “I am in no danger of undergoing pon farr in the near future,” he said evenly. “It will not occur for another five-point-three years, at which time I will already have returned to the colony in preparation, so I ask that you please stop talking, immediately. Captain.”
“Wait, really?” asked Kirk. “Five years? Because I assumed, you know – you being half-human, it might throw off your, uh, cycle?” He ignored the ridiculousness of discussing cycles with Spock. “You know, make it unpredictable?”
“No,” said Spock. “From a biological standpoint I am completely Vulcan. It is the dominant gene. Not to mention that it would be extremely illogical for Vulcans to not have developed a method for predicting the onset of pon farr, so as to prevent any complications it might present.”
“Oh.” Kirk sagged in his chair. “Yeah, that makes sense, I guess.” He was relieved, of course, that Spock was in no danger of going caveman on anyone anytime soon, but there was also an underlying sense of… something, that he couldn’t quite put a name to. “So, we don’t have to get you to Vokau, warp factor ten billion?” he asked.
“Negative, Captain” said Spock. “Not only are the warp engines incapable of such a ludicrous speed, there is no need to return me to the Vulcan colony at the present time.” He studied Kirk intently. “You seem disappointed.”
“Do I?” Kirk didn’t know if he was asking Spock, or himself. “Huh. Maybe a little. I mean, I don’t want you to go insane and die, or anything. I just thought it might be… interesting.”
“Do not worry,” said Spock, as he rose from his seat. “When I enter into pon farr, Jim, you will be the first to know.”
He left, and Kirk could only stare after him. He made a mental note to mark his calendar, five-point-three years from now.
- end -
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 09:17 am (UTC)Too much funny to quote but a few favorite lines:
So instead of sounding the alarm (or telling Bones, which amounted to the same thing) <-- HAH! I love it when writers rag a little on Bones. I love Bones
Kirk was not prepared for what stalking (monitoring, he was monitoring) <-- Yeah, like I, uh, monitor ZQ activities, right? YEAH I AM MONITORING
Spock was standing over him. He reached over and removed the lettuce stuck to Kirk’s ear <- THAT was adorable
Because I really want to know if I have to initiate a shipwide alert for surprise Vulcan buttsex <-- BRB LOLLIN 4EVA. Fuck, dude, you need to warn for shit that funny
He studied Kirk intently. “You seem disappointed.” <-- ME TOO, JIM. ME TOO
“When I enter into pon farr, Jim, you will be the first to know.” <-- Aaaaaaand *boner*
Don't MAKE me wait another 33 years. YOU ROCK THE K/S BABE. YOU ROCK IT HARD.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 09:30 am (UTC)OH GOOD YOU LAUGHED YAY
I always worry that my brand of funny is nobody else's brand of funny.
HOW IS IT THAT UNTIL NOW I DID NOT KNOW THAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO USE THE PHRASE 'SURPRISE VULCAN BUTTSEX' IN A FIC?
Thank you bb. I am so glad you liked it. I'm working on something else but AT THE RATE I AM GOING IT MAY WELL BE ANOTHER 33 YEARS BUT STAY TUNED
ps i <3 mccoy *draws hearts* he is my favorite we are space married
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 09:49 am (UTC)You have also given me the image of a Kirk who everytime Spock acts even the slightest bit odd, runs over to him and whispers 'Is it time? has somthing set you off? do you need me to... you know?' Only to have Spock raise an Eyebrow.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:30 pm (UTC)The Eyebrow(tm) gets such a workout, it's a wonder it doesn't fall off.
Hee! Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 10:04 am (UTC)I don't know if you meant it to be read that way but I totally cracked up when I read that line. Anyways, I loved the whole premise of Kirk incorrectly predicting Spock's Time. Spock must be so amused 8D.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:31 pm (UTC)Spock is amused the way a cat is amused when someone steps on its tail. ;)
I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reading. :D
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 10:37 am (UTC)I particularly enjoyed the geological specimens, the soothing sight of a meditating Vulcan, and, for some reason, the idea that Spock actually practices his marksmanship. This is awesome and I would highly encourage you to produce more Trek fic :-)
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:32 pm (UTC)I have to admit that the idea of Spock in a firing range makes me squirm. :3 I might have to do something completely dedicates to Spock's marksmanship. Unf.
Thank you for reading! I certainly hope to write some more, this is quite fun! :D
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 10:40 am (UTC)Also: ludicrous speed (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NbrAy9f4Gc)! XD
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:33 pm (UTC)YAY YOU GET A PRIZE uh A GOLD STAR *presses to forehead*
I was hoping someone saw that Spaceballs reference. :D
Thank you! :D
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 01:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 01:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:33 pm (UTC)I'm thinking about it! :D
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 02:07 pm (UTC)Please write more in this fandom, it likes you.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:34 pm (UTC)I can only imagine trying to explain to your coworkers why you are dead of fanfiction. :)
Thank you so much for reading. I hope to keep writing, I like this fandom! It's exciting!
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 02:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 03:52 pm (UTC)Damn, you write amazing stuff! Loved both your Kirk and your Spock voices.
I'd be hard pressed to tell you my favourite part, but it's definitely between at least the red vagina-faced lobster monster; Spock's 'spectacularly stupid dog' tone; surprise Vulcan buttsex; the 'you will be the first to know' at the end . . . aw crap, there's too many! I can't choose, which means the WHOLE THING IS MADE OF WIN.
It should be embossed in gold, framed, and given medals and ribbons.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:37 pm (UTC)Oh, I am so glad to have made you laugh! :) Thank you, so much.
(I'm just so glad I was able to use 'surprise Vulcan buttsex' in a story. I can cross that off my list of 1001 things to do before I die.)
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 04:44 pm (UTC)Kirk's voice is perfect!! LOVE EEET!
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:37 pm (UTC)Oh, thanks! It's okay, my brain is wonky too - s'why I wrote this. ;)
Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 04:54 pm (UTC)A small list that doesn't even begin to approach everything I adore about this (not in any order, just off the top of my head):
- The image of Kirk being forced to carry rocks and whining about it the whole way.
- Vagina-faced monsters.
- Kirk reading/speaking Vulcan (you know it's SUCH a turn on for Spock, he almost went into spontaneous pon farr right then and there-- or was at least thinking about faking it).
- Spock practicing his aim and being awesome at it, which totally turns the tables and makes Kirk have to subtly adjust his pants.
- Cunning linguists.
- Kirk knowing the lyrics to Dancing Queen (you know he's probably sung it while dancing on top of a bar).
- Falling asleep on his sammich, Spock picking lettuce off his ear.
- Oh God, it was starting.
- Blushing Spock (which needed to be reported to McCoy).
- Scotty talking about...Scottish things.
- Kirk being articulate in high-pressured situations.
- Ludicrous speed!
- Vulcan surprise buttsex!
- Your genius, earnest, completely in love with Spock, socially challenged Kirk.
- Your calm yet bewildered BAMF Spock.
I love the dynamic between them. It's just absolutely perfect, and when you finish that other fic you're working on, I may sit on top of you to write more in this tone/vein. AND YOU'LL LIKE IT.
Best birthday present ever, thank you so much bb. ilu forever <3
(Edited to include Vulcan surprise buttsex, how could I leave it out?!)
no subject
Date: 2010-04-18 02:16 am (UTC)SPOCK FAKING PON FARR TO GET KIRK INTO BED WHAT NO I AM NOT HEADING TO THE KINK MEME RIGHT FUCKING NOW HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST THAT I AM
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 04:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:39 pm (UTC)Gracias! :D
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 05:02 pm (UTC)excellent!!!!! a+++++++!
i died laughing. literally!!!!! i'm going to haunt you!!!
:D!
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:39 pm (UTC)brb licking your icon
BRB CALLING GHOSTBUSTERS
<3 thank you :D Glad you liked it
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 05:20 pm (UTC)So do we a sequel that takes place 5.3 years later?no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:40 pm (UTC)Awwwwww. :D Thank you bb. :D
I am certainly not considering a sequel set in the not-so-distant future oh nono subject
Date: 2010-04-16 06:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:41 pm (UTC)<3<3<3<3<3<3
I had fun because I got to play with smart!Kirk which is one of my kinks, honestly. Genius!Kirk is a lovely thing that should be cultivated like a hothouse flower. :D
THANK YOU HONEYBUTT. <3
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 06:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 08:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:42 pm (UTC)Vulcans keep their promises, yo. ;)
THANK YOU!
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 08:46 pm (UTC)I'm sure Kirk can't wait! :D
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:42 pm (UTC)NEITHER CAN WE
:D
no subject
Date: 2010-04-16 09:19 pm (UTC)I loved the whole thing! <3
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:43 pm (UTC)I can't imagine that would be a comfortable conversation for anyone. Ever. :)
Thank you!
FIC: One Time When Kirk Thought Pon Farr Was a Cliché (ST XI)
Date: 2010-04-16 09:27 pm (UTC)My favourite bit? That the thing that surprised Spock most about the whole conversation was that Jim spoke Vulcan.
I'm joining the queue for a sequel in 5.3 years ^_^
Re: FIC: One Time When Kirk Thought Pon Farr Was a Cliché (ST XI)
Date: 2010-04-20 02:47 pm (UTC)I have to admit something: genius!Kirk is my crack. I love the idea of him learning an entire language because he was bored. :D
Thank you! <3
no subject
Date: 2010-04-17 02:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:48 pm (UTC)Thank you! I'm glad the twist worked - I love a good trope, but I love messing with a trope even more. :D
no subject
Date: 2010-04-17 03:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:49 pm (UTC)Sort of a cross between deer-in-headlights and murderous-rage and this-is-the-worst-day. :D
Thank you so much!
no subject
Date: 2010-04-17 06:34 pm (UTC)Good writing, brilliant way of exploring the issue of Pon Farr without it leading to Porn *sniggers again*
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:50 pm (UTC)Now I sort of want to take a trope that never ends in porn and make it end in porn. Muahahahaha. CRAZY, SHE'S CRAZY!!
Thank you, bb. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-04-18 06:59 pm (UTC)OMG this was such a fun read!
Thanks for sharing!
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 02:51 pm (UTC)Thank you so much! Thanks for reading! :D